My Apologies... and Enjoy

November thats a very long time ago. I apologize for not imparting some of my wisdom upon you for so long. Alas time has been short. But I guess that is my fault. I really should prioritize my time...

Here is a little story for you all that I have been slaving over. Its a little lengthy, but worth the read.

The Tale of the Flatulence Trail

There once was a boy named Tyler
He really wasn’t a very good filer
His room was always a mess
But that’s ok I guess
When faced with something he didn’t know
He always went with the flow
He would try his hand at any sport
But don’t ask him to play in his fort
His imagination was very good
For there was always a professional team in his hood

In Colorado he tried something new
A hairy beast with hooves all in shoe
To the hitching post the horses were led
Thinking that they would all soon be fed
A breakfast of oats and barley the horses would lack
For those guides just wanted to throw saddles on each back
Every horse would go on a trail ride
From their job they could not hide
Now let me bend your ear
And tell you this tale you will never fear

On the day of the ride
Tyler leapt up from sleeping on his side
He didn’t want to wait
Because horse back riding was going to be great
We jumped into the car
And drove to the bottom of the mountain, which wasn’t very far
Into the cabin Tyler strode with great confidence
But the cowboys told him to wait by the fence
We walked around the building with our fingers hooked in our belt loops
When they saw us coming all the chickens fled their coops

You see the Osborn name
Comes with great fame
Alice saved the day
When she made that rooster pay
For swiping the ruby right out of a ring
That grandpa gave to her when his love he did sing
Back to the story that we now have at hand
Horses clip clopping through that Colorado sand



We rode out of the corral with great smiles on our face
We both decided this was a great great place
Tyler ducked under the sign that said have fun
Even though he wasn’t a very tall son
I had to duck under that sign
Or my head would have ached and I would not have been fine
The horses pranced out forgetting about the oats
That they wanted to eat while we brushed their coats
The hairy beasts held their heads up high
Walking under the great Colorado sky

What was that I thought with a giggle?
The cinch on the saddle of Tyler’s horse wouldn’t wiggle
For you see listeners it was so tight
That horse blew a wind that gave me a fright
Every few yards he blew it again
I started to think I must have sinned
To sit behind a horse that smelled so bad
I really was beginning to get mad
But Tyler laughed and laughed and laughed
So I sat in my saddle much aghast

The morning started nice and cool
The sun shone on the mountains in glittering pools
The smile on my son would never be matched
God’s majesty was something I hoped he would catch
The trees swayed in the gentle breeze
I am so glad it was fall, for in the spring we would sneeze
As the sun started to beat on our backs
Our warm clothes we soon wished we lacked
Tyler took off his hat and gave it to the guide
We never saw it again, but Tyler let that slide

The ride lasted three hours long
The smell from his horse continued to be strong
The horse managed to follow natures will
But the smell of that horse made me want to kill
Towards the end of the ride
I had to keep switching from side to side
My bum was getting sore
And Tyler almost started to snore
We headed back to the CO corral
Tyler said he needed some chow

We said good bye to the big hairy beasts
Rubbed their soft noses and smooth hard cheeks
Their whiskers were tickly
And their ears were prickly
Tyler exclaimed as we left the stable
I can’t wait to get to the table
We petted the dogs
Walked over the logs
We jumped into the car
And headed back to the cabin which wasn’t very far